The wind in my face. With my eyes closed it’s almost as if things had never changed. The sun is warm; the air feels bright. I lock the front door and walk in the direction of the bus stop. Leaves crinkle and crunch, stirring up the smell of early fall. Mailbox. Sidewalk. I’ve stopped wondering why the neighbor’s dog barks at everything, he has become just another landmark. Stop sign. Lamppost. Bus stop. The bus door opens with a wheezing sigh. The driver greets me warmly, his voice deep and syrupy. I sit close to the front and try to guess where each passenger is headed as they get on. An unwashed man, silent except for the flap of worn out sneakers heads to the back of the bus. Laborers in heavy shoes and plastic windbreakers. A working mother and her son, whose stage whispers entertain me while I count the stops. At my stop I pause with the traffic at my back, picturing a map in my head. Another block, a crosswalk, a door. Inside, the AC clicks on inspite of the balmy weather outside. I pad down the carpeted halls to a room. At the end of the room, a piano. I sit and play, no longer worried with what I sense, simply wrapped in feeling. In my music I can see. I can recall blue skies; red and yellow leaves; neon lights; gray, misty mornings. Sunsets, paintings of sunsets. I’m crying. I get up and count the number of turn to the front door. The number of steps to the bus stop. The number of stops home. The number of days since I saw the sun.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Puppy Who Grew Wings
Original concept by Alex Blair
There once was an adorable little puppy—as cute as a fuzzy brown ball of fur could be—with floppy ears, a whippy tail, big brown eyes, and oversized paws. His name was Puppikins.
Puppikins had one dream—to fly and soar in the clouds. He would try to fly by jumping off the ottomans and chairs in his master’s house, but he always fell on his floppy ears. He wished and wished for wings.
One day, he noticed little feathers growing out of his back. Gradually, his little wings grew and Puppikins tried to fly harder than ever. Eventually, he could glide a few feet across the room, and soon he learned to use the right muscles to flap his wings. Now, he could rise up right off the floor. Everyday his wings grew stronger and he could fly higher. Puppikins looked forward to the day he would soar up in the clouds.
The time came that he could fly longer and higher than ever before, and he decided that that was the day he would try to reach the clouds. So, Puppikins gathered his strength and took off. His joy grew as he flew higher and higher, until—WHAM! —he hit the ceiling fan and was flung back to the floor. Not to be deterred by set backs when he was so close, Puppikins got back up and tried again, only to be flung back again. On his third try, he dodged the fan! Now, he was flying higher than ever. Soon he would be soaring in the clouds. Higher and higher—WHACK! He hit the ceiling and fell to the floor a sadder and wiser dog. For he remembered—he was an inside dog.
The moral of the story is that if you try hard enough and dream big enough, you can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles only to discover your achievements are useless. The end.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Author's Note
I've been doing a lot of thinking and my blog is going to reflect that. Previously, I have restricted posts to linguistics and book reviews, with the occasional TV or movie reference. While I don't mean to abandon that track entirely, I am going to open up to different kinds of posts. Most notably, original works. The idea behind this blog was to encourage me to write more and I have recently made a resolution to focus more on writing for more public forums. I will be entering writing contests to see what feedback I get. And I will be posting some of my work to this blog. These will still be observations of a literary cynic, but in a more creative form. Not that my lone reader cares about my content. (Hi, Mom.)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Book Review: Judgment of Paris
I'm a bit of a foodie and, by extension, a bit of an oenophile. Due to my literary bent, I don't just like to taste food and wine but read about them as well. I read cook books, food blogs, magazines, and news articles. Food writing speaks to me, where most other non-fiction doesn't. So finding a book that combines encyclopedic information about food (or in this case, wine) with narrative drama, and I am hooked.
Judgment of Paris: California vs. France and the Historic 1976 Paris Tasting That Revolutionized Wine is a bit Melvillian in its scope. George M. Taber seeks to set the record straight on what actually happened in Paris on May 24, 1976, but along the way he encompasses the entire history of wine. He specifically deals with the growth of the French and California wine industries, which involves a great deal of world history, economics, and climatology. The chapters on 20th century technological advances in winemaking are very technical and at times tedious. Taber is a trained journalist and as such his narratives are gripping and draw the reader in, but his economic break down of wine trade going into the 21st century reads a bit like the Wall Street Journal: Wine Edition. He is less than economical in his writing and strays into cliches on occasion— How many ways can one say 'from A-Z' before it becomes overly tired and trite?
As an educational book, the narrative gives the reader an impetus to read the less exciting chapters in order to get back to the main story. As a narrative, readers could skip chapters 2, 3, 10, 17, 18, and 22 to the end. This is merely a suggestion to anyone who finds the technical nature of the writing inaccessible. An easier way to selectively read is to stick to chapters about Grgich, Winiarski, and Spurrier. Alternatively, for a less than accurate portrayal of events, try watching Bottle Shock, a Lifetime-movie-esque representation of the winning Chardonnay winery.
To be clear, this book is no more inaccessible than Moby Dick or Hunchback of Notre Dame, albeit less likely to become a classic. And with the wine industry in America booming and wineries popping up in every state, remembering the history of those early vintners is important to understanding how American wines are perceived globally. The technical aspects, while dry, are really to help make wine more accessible to the uninitiated.
I appreciate Taber's attempt to clarify the nature of the tasting and its original goals which were more educational than competitive. As a native Californian, I derive great satisfaction from the fact that we won.
Judgment of Paris: California vs. France and the Historic 1976 Paris Tasting That Revolutionized Wine is a bit Melvillian in its scope. George M. Taber seeks to set the record straight on what actually happened in Paris on May 24, 1976, but along the way he encompasses the entire history of wine. He specifically deals with the growth of the French and California wine industries, which involves a great deal of world history, economics, and climatology. The chapters on 20th century technological advances in winemaking are very technical and at times tedious. Taber is a trained journalist and as such his narratives are gripping and draw the reader in, but his economic break down of wine trade going into the 21st century reads a bit like the Wall Street Journal: Wine Edition. He is less than economical in his writing and strays into cliches on occasion— How many ways can one say 'from A-Z' before it becomes overly tired and trite?
As an educational book, the narrative gives the reader an impetus to read the less exciting chapters in order to get back to the main story. As a narrative, readers could skip chapters 2, 3, 10, 17, 18, and 22 to the end. This is merely a suggestion to anyone who finds the technical nature of the writing inaccessible. An easier way to selectively read is to stick to chapters about Grgich, Winiarski, and Spurrier. Alternatively, for a less than accurate portrayal of events, try watching Bottle Shock, a Lifetime-movie-esque representation of the winning Chardonnay winery.
To be clear, this book is no more inaccessible than Moby Dick or Hunchback of Notre Dame, albeit less likely to become a classic. And with the wine industry in America booming and wineries popping up in every state, remembering the history of those early vintners is important to understanding how American wines are perceived globally. The technical aspects, while dry, are really to help make wine more accessible to the uninitiated.
I appreciate Taber's attempt to clarify the nature of the tasting and its original goals which were more educational than competitive. As a native Californian, I derive great satisfaction from the fact that we won.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tweet in the New Year
Happy New Year! I got some reading done over my holiday break, and my new year's resolution is to update more than once a month (on average, that is).
In my progression down the line of literature of questionable merit, I've gone from checkout line books and bargain books to clearance books. The thing about consumerism is, even if it's destined to be a classic, or it is a classic, you can still find some version of it for less than $5 if you're patient. I found Casablanca in the $5 movie bin at Walmart. So, don't judge a book by it's price.
Instead, judge it by its reviews. Most books only publish the most flattering segments of their best reviews on the literal first page or sometimes on the back of the dust jacket. If the best they have are two word reviews, what you are reading is likely not the best summary of the reviewers thoughts on that book. And then there's the reviews for the book I just finished:
"Do you hear that? It's the sound of Shakespeare, rolling over in his grave." —The Wall Street Journal
"Sincerest apologies to Shakespeare, Stendhal, and Joyce: how were we to know it would come to this?" — Mashable.com
"A move likely to be greeted by book lovers with a mixture of horror and why-didn't-I-think-of-that jealousy." —Chicago Tribune
Well, the last one isn't so bad. Clearly, this book must have to do with pop-culture and sensationalism. Which is half right. If you like the beyond Cliffs Notes, hyper-condensed versions of books and have a passing familiarity with the internet check out..........
......twitterature: The World's Greatest Books in Twenty Tweets or Less.
Seriously. And it gets better. This book was written (presumably on Twitter, but seeing as I don't have an account...) by two college freshmen, Alexander Aciman and Emmett Rensin. Not only are they more well-read than you, they are published in a work essentially mocking how much better read they are. 'Cause really, about a dozen of the works included I had never heard of. Then again, I'm not an English major.
It is possible to use this book to get a feel for what one of the 83 works in the book is about. However, judging from the ones I have read, don't expect Aciman and Rensin to stick too closely to the plot. This is after all, meant to be a humorous book. But if you haven't read a work, don't expect to fully understand the jokes. Along those lines, it's possible this book could promote reading. Maybe. Nah.
This book breaks all therules conventions. The publishing of their bad reviews only kicks off the poking fun at the establishment. Aciman hails Napoleon as his hero, while Rensin claims a love of all things Nixon. The book is dedicated to the victims of the Titanic. And all that before you even get to the introduction.
It's hard to quibble with the inclusion of poetry and plays in their list of great 'books,' but the final entry was surely intended to break their own rules—Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. And, helpfully, there's a glossary at the back for the lingo you may not be familiar with.
Well, I think it's awesome, at least. And there's a valuable lesson to be learned. All those plans hatched in your dorm room? Shoulda followed through. Srsly.
In my progression down the line of literature of questionable merit, I've gone from checkout line books and bargain books to clearance books. The thing about consumerism is, even if it's destined to be a classic, or it is a classic, you can still find some version of it for less than $5 if you're patient. I found Casablanca in the $5 movie bin at Walmart. So, don't judge a book by it's price.
Instead, judge it by its reviews. Most books only publish the most flattering segments of their best reviews on the literal first page or sometimes on the back of the dust jacket. If the best they have are two word reviews, what you are reading is likely not the best summary of the reviewers thoughts on that book. And then there's the reviews for the book I just finished:
"Do you hear that? It's the sound of Shakespeare, rolling over in his grave." —The Wall Street Journal
"Sincerest apologies to Shakespeare, Stendhal, and Joyce: how were we to know it would come to this?" — Mashable.com
"A move likely to be greeted by book lovers with a mixture of horror and why-didn't-I-think-of-that jealousy." —Chicago Tribune
Well, the last one isn't so bad. Clearly, this book must have to do with pop-culture and sensationalism. Which is half right. If you like the beyond Cliffs Notes, hyper-condensed versions of books and have a passing familiarity with the internet check out..........
......twitterature: The World's Greatest Books in Twenty Tweets or Less.
Seriously. And it gets better. This book was written (presumably on Twitter, but seeing as I don't have an account...) by two college freshmen, Alexander Aciman and Emmett Rensin. Not only are they more well-read than you, they are published in a work essentially mocking how much better read they are. 'Cause really, about a dozen of the works included I had never heard of. Then again, I'm not an English major.
It is possible to use this book to get a feel for what one of the 83 works in the book is about. However, judging from the ones I have read, don't expect Aciman and Rensin to stick too closely to the plot. This is after all, meant to be a humorous book. But if you haven't read a work, don't expect to fully understand the jokes. Along those lines, it's possible this book could promote reading. Maybe. Nah.
This book breaks all the
It's hard to quibble with the inclusion of poetry and plays in their list of great 'books,' but the final entry was surely intended to break their own rules—Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. And, helpfully, there's a glossary at the back for the lingo you may not be familiar with.
Well, I think it's awesome, at least. And there's a valuable lesson to be learned. All those plans hatched in your dorm room? Shoulda followed through. Srsly.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Recent Readings
Here's a catch-up post of what I've been reading.
Not Just a Geek
Book review of Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton
When Wesley Crusher was Put on a Bus in The Next Generation, Wil Wheaton, the actor who portrayed him, mostly fell out of the public consciousness. Wheaton struggles to regain a reputation in Hollywood, his new hobby-turned-second-career of writing, and coping with The Wesley part of his past. We learn what it's like to be a struggling actor, child star, stepdad, blogger, and all around geek. Highly recommended for geek-culture enthusiasts and Trekkies, especially anyone who resented Ensign Crusher.
Inspiring Boredom
Book review of Ennui to Go: The Art of Boredom
I've been browsing the bargain section of the bookstore lately. (Pro tip: bargain hardbacks are still typically more expensive than regular paperbacks.) Ennui to Go is in vein with the onslaught of quote and fact books that have flooded the bargain section recently. Most of the book is quotes describing the state of boredom. Many of the quotes attempt to pin down the causes and relievers of boredom. One chapter lists definitions of types of boredom terms. Another chapter lists historical people associated with boredom. If you're interested in psychology (or philosophy), this book has some interesting insights into lack-of-interest.
Book review of 11,002 Things to be Miserable About
Not quite the bargain section, this book came from the check-out line. This is book is exactly what it sounds like. Composed as a stream of consciousness list, part of the fun of the book is juxtaposition (the rest is the shock factor). One fun game to play is to come up with compelling reasons why some items might make someone miserable. The extremely disappointing thing is that the editors failed to catch several repeating items, some on facing pages of each other. Also, this book is not recommended for children or those suffering depression. Highly recommended for those with macabre humors.
Here are a few examples that particularly resonated with me (from throughout the book): spam, calculus, artificial grape flavoring, being awake at 4 am, nonrecyclables in the recycle bins, vending machines that steal your money, the macarena, militant vegetarians, actors, unexamined lives, American attention spans, evolutionary explanations of love, Shakespeare translated into modern English, manual labor, daytime tv, bureaucracy, divas, work on Sundays, middle school band concerts, bad movie adaptations of good books, freezing rain, trying to sleep on a train, prequels, construction, Antigone, unpaid internships, charging for checked baggage, facebook apps, blinking in photos, books you can't finish, broken flip-flops, LA traffic, infomercials.....
Not Just a Geek
Book review of Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton
When Wesley Crusher was Put on a Bus in The Next Generation, Wil Wheaton, the actor who portrayed him, mostly fell out of the public consciousness. Wheaton struggles to regain a reputation in Hollywood, his new hobby-turned-second-career of writing, and coping with The Wesley part of his past. We learn what it's like to be a struggling actor, child star, stepdad, blogger, and all around geek. Highly recommended for geek-culture enthusiasts and Trekkies, especially anyone who resented Ensign Crusher.
Inspiring Boredom
Book review of Ennui to Go: The Art of Boredom
I've been browsing the bargain section of the bookstore lately. (Pro tip: bargain hardbacks are still typically more expensive than regular paperbacks.) Ennui to Go is in vein with the onslaught of quote and fact books that have flooded the bargain section recently. Most of the book is quotes describing the state of boredom. Many of the quotes attempt to pin down the causes and relievers of boredom. One chapter lists definitions of types of boredom terms. Another chapter lists historical people associated with boredom. If you're interested in psychology (or philosophy), this book has some interesting insights into lack-of-interest.
Book review of 11,002 Things to be Miserable About
Not quite the bargain section, this book came from the check-out line. This is book is exactly what it sounds like. Composed as a stream of consciousness list, part of the fun of the book is juxtaposition (the rest is the shock factor). One fun game to play is to come up with compelling reasons why some items might make someone miserable. The extremely disappointing thing is that the editors failed to catch several repeating items, some on facing pages of each other. Also, this book is not recommended for children or those suffering depression. Highly recommended for those with macabre humors.
Here are a few examples that particularly resonated with me (from throughout the book): spam, calculus, artificial grape flavoring, being awake at 4 am, nonrecyclables in the recycle bins, vending machines that steal your money, the macarena, militant vegetarians, actors, unexamined lives, American attention spans, evolutionary explanations of love, Shakespeare translated into modern English, manual labor, daytime tv, bureaucracy, divas, work on Sundays, middle school band concerts, bad movie adaptations of good books, freezing rain, trying to sleep on a train, prequels, construction, Antigone, unpaid internships, charging for checked baggage, facebook apps, blinking in photos, books you can't finish, broken flip-flops, LA traffic, infomercials.....
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Holly-days
Hollywood likes to cash in on the holidays, like any other corporate monster. However, frequently the movies bear only a passing resemblance to the celebrations during which they are set. Here are the holidays according to Hollywood:
Jan 1—Take two Tylenol and go back to bed. Don't worry about making resolutions; just watch a few movies and be told what to think.
Feb 2—On this day we celebrate the mystery of the passage of time and of causality itself, although a small furry creature may be somehow involved. We are reminded that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Resolution: be a better person.
Feb 14—Today we celebrate miscommunications and happy endings. That guy that you think doesn't even know you exist? He totally loves you. And you will die of old age in each other's arms. Resolution:read He's Just Not That Into You fall in love, be a better person.
March 17—This day is not largely celebrated in Hollywood since the only way in which it differs from any other day is in what color the beer is. Resolution: find a better hangover cure.
March/April ?—Celebrates prejudice by restarting Mel Gibson's career and getting him back in the news so as to have the largest possible audience for his poor life choices. Resolution: be a better person than Mel Gibson.
April 1—Today is the national holiday of the internet. Rick Astley is the patron saint. Resolution:be less gullible watch more YouTube.
May 5—No one knows what this holiday is about, but it seems like a good time to be culturally aware. And the best way is to watch Steve Martin. Resolution: find The Three Amigos, buy a pinata.
July 4—This day celebrates victory over alien invasions, especially those covered up by the government and encourages us to demand full disclosure. Or possibly celebrates fighting the nation we descended from. Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Resolution: be more like Bill Pullman.
Oct 31—This day allows us to confront our fears of death thru watching supernatural beings gruesomely kill everyone. Not that far off from the real holiday, actually. Resolution: survive till the sequel. Alternative celebrations center around Tim Burton or Tim Curry.
Nov 5—This day centers on anarachy, revolt and explosions. (Wait, isn't this completely backward?) Also, a guy that vaguely looks like the phantom of the opera. Resolution:research gun powder plot, be a better informed voter blow stuff up.
Nov 7—During the days leading up to this day, some people will be watching lots of documentaries. The rest of us spend this time wishing Jack Bauer were on the ticket. Resolution: vote for the guy who is willing tointerrogate negotiate.
Nov ?—This holiday is entirely about football. Large amounts of food are cooked ahead of time so you can spend the entire day in front of the television. Resolution: find a way for society to be even lazier and be thankful for it.
Dec 25—There is a lot of controversy around this holiday. The mythos of talking animals, sentient ice beings, and anti-gravity has a cult following particularly strong among the vertically challenged. The other tradition is based largely on two stories. In one a man is woken up byfour three ghosts, who show him what life will be like when he's dead. The other... has fewer ghosts. Resolution: give gifts to show what a good person you are, especially if you kept your resolutions.
Jan 1—Take two Tylenol and go back to bed. Don't worry about making resolutions; just watch a few movies and be told what to think.
Feb 2—On this day we celebrate the mystery of the passage of time and of causality itself, although a small furry creature may be somehow involved. We are reminded that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Resolution: be a better person.
Feb 14—Today we celebrate miscommunications and happy endings. That guy that you think doesn't even know you exist? He totally loves you. And you will die of old age in each other's arms. Resolution:
March 17—This day is not largely celebrated in Hollywood since the only way in which it differs from any other day is in what color the beer is. Resolution: find a better hangover cure.
March/April ?—Celebrates prejudice by restarting Mel Gibson's career and getting him back in the news so as to have the largest possible audience for his poor life choices. Resolution: be a better person than Mel Gibson.
April 1—Today is the national holiday of the internet. Rick Astley is the patron saint. Resolution:
May 5—No one knows what this holiday is about, but it seems like a good time to be culturally aware. And the best way is to watch Steve Martin. Resolution: find The Three Amigos, buy a pinata.
July 4—This day celebrates victory over alien invasions, especially those covered up by the government and encourages us to demand full disclosure. Or possibly celebrates fighting the nation we descended from. Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Resolution: be more like Bill Pullman.
Oct 31—This day allows us to confront our fears of death thru watching supernatural beings gruesomely kill everyone. Not that far off from the real holiday, actually. Resolution: survive till the sequel. Alternative celebrations center around Tim Burton or Tim Curry.
Nov 5—This day centers on anarachy, revolt and explosions. (Wait, isn't this completely backward?) Also, a guy that vaguely looks like the phantom of the opera. Resolution:
Nov 7—During the days leading up to this day, some people will be watching lots of documentaries. The rest of us spend this time wishing Jack Bauer were on the ticket. Resolution: vote for the guy who is willing to
Nov ?—This holiday is entirely about football. Large amounts of food are cooked ahead of time so you can spend the entire day in front of the television. Resolution: find a way for society to be even lazier and be thankful for it.
Dec 25—There is a lot of controversy around this holiday. The mythos of talking animals, sentient ice beings, and anti-gravity has a cult following particularly strong among the vertically challenged. The other tradition is based largely on two stories. In one a man is woken up by
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