I've been increasingly puzzled by continuing news stories and articles about sexism in fandoms. I know it's there. I know it's dumb. But we hear a lot more about it on the internet (for obvious reasons) than sexism elsewhere. Actually, we don't hear a lot of people speaking out against sexism elsewhere, so go internet, points for that.
What I've noticed, though, is the tone of the responses to sexism in the nerd world. They fall into two camps: women writing to empower women and men writing to take men to task. And neither of those stances is wrong. But I'd like to take a moment to look at the issue from a different angle and speak to the guys directly and from a place of common ground. Not we-like-the-same-stuff common ground, but we-have-been-dealt-the-same-hand.
You see, I know how you feel. You grew up in a world where athleticism and looks trumped grades and creativity. Where being yourself meant getting bullied. Where you couldn't find others who shared your interests and your interests weren't supported in the society you were in (high school).
So, it was really great to find an outlet, a community, a guild, a con, a game shop where you could interact with people who get you. You promote the stuff that makes you happy and the makers that provide that content. Good for you.
BUT. I am you. I walk into a con and get bombarded by female figures I can't identify with. I get excluded by the cool guys. They bully me. They resent my existence and do everything they can to make their community closed to me. But this time we share interests, experiences, social preferences, etc. What we don't share is gender.
I understand the idea of fake geek girl and at one point, perhaps, the concept had validity. When cons had to hire booth babes for any kind of female presence, for instance. But the fact is, geekdom is not a small community any longer. It's not weird anymore. One of the most popular show on television has dragons in it. So it's time to give up the gate-keeping because the floodgates have opened and geek is mainstream. It's not just girls you have to worry about; it's everyone. The jocks are here now. The preppy girls. Everyone you hate is here, and all they really want is to fund that thing you love and not get anonymous internet threats in the process. Did you like Avengers? It never would have been made without mass appeal.
Yes, more money isn't the only thing that changes when you go mainstream. There are a few things that are going to change. Most reasonable people understand why (overt) racism is bad in media. Well, sexism is bad too. Our fictional heroes should behave by an ethical code that includes respect for all human life. So should our internet posters, con attenders, comic book buyers.
So, all we females really want is no threats and fully clothed role models. Is that really too much to ask?
Besides, do you really want to go back to only seeing guys at cons?
What I've noticed, though, is the tone of the responses to sexism in the nerd world. They fall into two camps: women writing to empower women and men writing to take men to task. And neither of those stances is wrong. But I'd like to take a moment to look at the issue from a different angle and speak to the guys directly and from a place of common ground. Not we-like-the-same-stuff common ground, but we-have-been-dealt-the-same-hand.
You see, I know how you feel. You grew up in a world where athleticism and looks trumped grades and creativity. Where being yourself meant getting bullied. Where you couldn't find others who shared your interests and your interests weren't supported in the society you were in (high school).
So, it was really great to find an outlet, a community, a guild, a con, a game shop where you could interact with people who get you. You promote the stuff that makes you happy and the makers that provide that content. Good for you.
BUT. I am you. I walk into a con and get bombarded by female figures I can't identify with. I get excluded by the cool guys. They bully me. They resent my existence and do everything they can to make their community closed to me. But this time we share interests, experiences, social preferences, etc. What we don't share is gender.
I understand the idea of fake geek girl and at one point, perhaps, the concept had validity. When cons had to hire booth babes for any kind of female presence, for instance. But the fact is, geekdom is not a small community any longer. It's not weird anymore. One of the most popular show on television has dragons in it. So it's time to give up the gate-keeping because the floodgates have opened and geek is mainstream. It's not just girls you have to worry about; it's everyone. The jocks are here now. The preppy girls. Everyone you hate is here, and all they really want is to fund that thing you love and not get anonymous internet threats in the process. Did you like Avengers? It never would have been made without mass appeal.
Yes, more money isn't the only thing that changes when you go mainstream. There are a few things that are going to change. Most reasonable people understand why (overt) racism is bad in media. Well, sexism is bad too. Our fictional heroes should behave by an ethical code that includes respect for all human life. So should our internet posters, con attenders, comic book buyers.
So, all we females really want is no threats and fully clothed role models. Is that really too much to ask?
Besides, do you really want to go back to only seeing guys at cons?
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